A Sober Wife

From Our Readers ~ A Sober Wife
by Phyllis Sather, Avon, MN

"That they may teach the young women to be sober..." Titus 2:4

I'm currently doing a book study on marriage with a younger woman, but I'm certainly learning every bit as much as she is. The chapter we are on for this week is about being sober. With my past, my first inclination is to think about alcohol or drugs, but that isn't at all what the author is speaking about.

She uses this definition of sober: To do one's duty, be moderate, self-controlled, thoughtful, and to learn to make wise decisions and judgments.

She goes on to say that a sober wife is one who knows she is no longer free to do as she pleases but must act in the best interests of her husband. Her most basic responsibility is to make her husband's home run smoothly. Here's the line that got to my heart: "It is in your best interest to reward your husband."

There it is again - God's economy - whatever is good for my husband will ultimately be for my good, too. If this is true, then the opposite must also be true - whatever is bad for my husband will ultimately be bad for me, too.

I found myself needing to make a choice this week - would I do good to my husband, and ultimately myself, or would I pout and make him suffer (which is usually my first choice) for what I saw as his thoughtlessness, and ultimately hurt myself?

This is when I find it helpful to look at the big picture. My husband is not characterized by thoughtlessness - oh no, he is exactly the opposite. He is very thoughtful and kind. But my enemy would like to get me to dwell on his one thoughtless act and get me thinking that he is just a thoughtless oaf and deserves whatever punishment I feel like meting out.

That was when I remembered Martin Luther's explanation of the Old Testament commandment in Exodus 20:16 - "You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor." He wrote that we should "put the best construction on everything."

I expect others to give me the benefit of the doubt, but it's hard for me to do the same for others. Seeing this helps me to turn around much faster. I realize that cutting myself off from my husband emotionally, spiritually, or physically, even for a short period of time, isn't in my best interest and it certainly isn't in his best interest. Hopefully someday I'll avoid needing to turn around at all, since I won't even head down the wrong street so often.

"Oh Father, help me to be the wife You want me to be."

Finding Joy in the Journey, Phyllis
www.Phyllis-Sather.com